Seesaw of Life

Eleanor Heacock, MA, MEd, ADTR

I was asked recently if it is true that you can only experience great joy if you are willing to experience the same degree of difficult feelings such as anger, rage, or sadness. This is an interesting question and one I have pondered from time to time.

For me this pondering invokes the image of a seesaw, a teeter-totter, one of those delightful playground pieces one doesn’t see so much anymore. (Yes, I’m old enough to remember them!) When totally balanced the seesaw didn’t move and the riders/players might find themselves with their feet dangling in the air. Another challenge might happen if one person was smaller than the other or if one moved in such a way to keep the other person “stuck” in the air. And remember the thrill, a combination of fear and excitement, when you pushed hard against the ground sending your side of the seesaw rapidly up giving yourself a bounce at the top and the other side a bump at the ground. Sometimes there was a brief concern that you might fall off, and then you laughed and experienced the fun of the ride. Okay, I do get carried away with images and movement! Just bear with me for a moment. Let your joy, your love, ride one side of that seesaw and those parts of you that you may try to hide – anger, rage, sadness, etc – ride the other side. If you aren’t honest with yourself about that “other side,” you may find yourself stuck or stagnant, not being able to move, and wondering why all that joy doesn’t feel so good anymore. But, you say, “I don’t want those negative feelings to be there.” And then, guess what, we start to see them in everyone else. Whoops!

Honesty with ourselves about our challenges, our “shadow” side as Carl Jung called it, is important - acknowledging that at times we do feel anger, sadness, and fear. As the Master of Arts guide at Holland’s Rijks museum said about Rembrandt’s portrait of his mother, noting its deep dark velvety folds where she held the Bible in her lap, “If you don’t do well with the shadows, you won’t do well with the light.” Understanding the importance of the contrasting sides is valuable insight.

Years ago an acquaintance told me of a friend of hers who was accused of a serious crime. Because she cared so much for her friend she had great difficulty understanding how her friend could have done what she had been accused of. It took a day of deep quiet inner exploration for her to acknowledge conditions in which she might have had the same thing happen. The important lesson for her was to acknowledge that deep within she was capable of doing what she thought only others would do. She found and embraced that part of herself AND as a result found a greater depth of compassion and love for her friend. When honesty about all parts of us can occur, the body then responds positively to the honesty; the energy of the “shadow” self is released and a sense of freedom or lightness can occur. More energetic space is created for the feelings you may prefer such as love, peace, and joy.

So give yourself and others more joy for the holidays and each day by loving ALL aspects of who YOU are. Enjoy your seesaw or (I’m already on to the next image) the roller coaster, which I prefer to ride through life, - not at the amusement park. Pass the popcorn and cotton candy! Actually make that hot-spiced cider, friends, family, laughter, and peace.

Happy Holidays!!

- Eleanor Heacock, MA, MEd, ADTR
Pain Transformation Therapy, Medical Intuitive, & Guided Meditations

(This article is from our 4th Qtr 2006 Newsletter)

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